Win-Win Situations, At What Cost?

Win-win situations, those are the best. Everyone walks away happy and everyone feels like they got something out of the situation or the deal. My entire life I have always advocated for the win-win solution. I believe that in every situation you should try to look at things from the other person’s point of view. Try your best to understand their perspective and why they might feel differently than you about a certain subject. I am pretty good at that! I can take a step back, see the big picture and most times come up with an outcome that the majority is happy with or feel is fair. Now, let’s keep it real here, that doesn’t always happen. That would be unrealistic, and that my friends, is exactly where I get myself into trouble.


I get myself into big trouble when others are not seeing my point of view or don’t have my value system. I don’t yell, scream, call names, or think they are wrong, oh no that would be too easy.  What do I do is exactly this, I sacrifice how I really feel and believe and back down to keep the peace. I will put how I feel on the back burner to make others happy and not upset the applecart too much. I convince myself that it is for the greater good and being right or winning an argument is just not that important to me.

I know what you are thinking, “what the heck, you don’t seem like a pushover, what are you talking about Weston?” This is true, I have stood up to the best of them, but if I want to be really honest with myself and you, there are times I wanted so much to have a win-win outcome that I did not say as much as I should have. This is especially true with people that I love and respect.  I can take people down for the count if I believe they are treating others poorly or unjust, but those I know and really like - sometimes, not so much.

Well with age comes wisdom (we hope) and the new and improved me is not so concerned about the win-win but more concerned that I speak my truth and present my point of view from love, power and strength.  There will be times things go exactly like I want with ease and flow and everyone is happy, but there will also be times I may ruffle some feathers and things get a bit heated. There will be times that the outcome is the best I could have ever imagined and there will be times I just chose to walk away.  


Being authentic to my word, all the time, is very uncomfortable for me. I don’t like seeing people get upset, disappointed, feelings hurt, sad, the list goes on. I would rather take the loss then see others not get what they want. I tell myself, you will always be great, things always work out for you, so let them have this one. But, as uncomfortable as it is for me, I will continue on my path of speaking my truth and accept that it is ok if everyone does not see eye to eye. We all have our own journey with our very own individual set of values and moral code. My goal is to accept others on the path they are on while being true to mine.  

Win-win situations, I hope I still have plenty of those and I am sure I will, but when I don’t, I will take a deep breath and remind myself that it is ok to not always be on the same page as everyone. I will look deep within and ask myself what outcome do I truly want? Then, from a place of honesty and love deep within me I will choose which battles are worth going forth and conquering and which ones I will just sit out (and chill underneath a beautiful tree).

What about you?

Sandy Weston